John Wayne's Loser

UGA vs FL
The Gators creep slowly Between the Hedges in Athens this week.
Leaving the swamp for these unfriendly confines could prove a challenge.
The Strong Claws of the O-line will run faster on land than in the water.
The Pups know to Knaw on some Alligator Tail is a Delight for Canines.
The Dawg's baby QB wants some Red and Black flags in the stands.
This game could be 100-99....... and JOHN WAYNE's Loser......Georgia


ALA vs LSU
The Elephants will parade into the Cajun State for a night game in Death Valley.
They expect to see Mardi Gras, but this is no party with these Bayou Bengals.
The Tigers are so young as all their SR's went back in prison for Parole Violations.
Bourbon Street took it's toll on the lineup and those Pachyderms seem seasoned.
The Crimson Tide will be Rollin' on the River into Baton Rouge like a Red Wave.
Terry / Bourque QB/WR team up to score Tucaloosa TD's..JOHN WAYNE'S Loser... LSU

OK vs IOWA
Those Boomer Sooners will go Land Rush Style out of Norman going north.
The Battle on the Prairie will begin in Iowa City, IOWA after a preseason game.
The Famed OK Coach, Big Papa will bring a  Dust Storm as revenge for that one.
Iowa has a lot of Sioux Young Bloods on the field and they are out for Sooner Scalps.
The Hawkeyes will try to work to Surround the Wagon Train... John Wayne's Loser... Iowa

Syracuse vs Miami
The Orangemen will crawl like a Sloth onto Sandy Beaches and the Tourist State.
Otto the mascot will take Syracuse into the Eye of the Storm with these Yankee Visitors.
NY has never seen Sunny Beaches like these before.  Coach Super wares ORANGE for luck.
The Hurricanes will Pack a Wallop for the visitors and will try to Blow them Down to Lil Cuba.
Miami's coach GridironGeneral drafted his Storm Troopers. John Wayne's Loser... Syracuse

Marshall vs USC 
The Trojans head east to find the Thundering Heard. These Romans try to Conquer Marshall.
USC wants to get the Arena Red with Blood. Gladiators coach Mr Krazy will Fight to the Finish.
The LA surfers will meet Marshall with Thunder and Lightning. Crowd gives the Thumbs Down.
Coach Garrok has his Bison Ready to Rumble. Will the Trojans regret the Death March? 
Hard fought away from a home Coliseum, the All Conquering Army Maneuvers..
John Wayne's loser   USC

Washington vs Stanford
All Academic Cardinals will host the Washington from Seattle. They will bring Coach Rain Man.
The Huskies have a scoring machine like no other Sled Dogs in the recent past.
But, the Engineers from California will have an Formula for Success for that Snowbank DEF
Stanford has their own RB and WR's that want to Shine like a Spring Red Bird in their SR years
This will be an balanced game with Coach Lars being the key. John Wayne's Loser ...Stanford

Ohio State vs Rutgers
Buckeyes hope the trip to Piscataway, NJ will not be a trap.  They will bring Acorns as gifts.
If Ohio State can start off with a win on the road, they might have a season for these Fr/Sophs
If Youth has anything to learn, it will be experience is needed on the road 
Red Men are from the burbs of NY, on the other side....NJ.......This is how a Red Knight Slays.
A Big Frat Rush Party here all youth.....who can coach??    John Wayne's Loser    Ohio State

Navy vs Arizona
The Goats are having the Wildcats visit their Home Port for this seasons opening Battle.
This is a Motherloving Naval War for sure. The Midshipmen have many Soph/JR Ship Jockeys
The AZ Sun Worshipers hope to Catch Cat Scratch Fever and Drill Paw Tatoos on the Sailors.
The Wildcats will use a Litter of Kittens. Cats play them like a Ball of String as Feline Frosh.
A Rabbi, Bob Cats and a Drunken Sailors walk into a Biker Bar. It's a Fight Waiting to Start
John Wayne's Loser               Navy.

Lol... that's funny JWS. You might even be right a time or two. :)
Thanks for taking the time to do these.

Not on our game though.

Tor Con 5 in Iowa... here comes the BOOM!

great job john wayne!! i'm stoked you are doing this for the show :)

Next time I hope we can post the text as I am saying it. That way other coaches can follow
as I am doing it. My accent and some of the text was not clear enough .... would be better if
they can follow along as I read it. Some of the jokes were missed in the audio only. Don't you
think so? But , that was just the first one. The next one will be more meaningful as the first
game will be over when I write the ones for game 2, 3,4,5. Those will be played before the
following podcast will fall. Game 2 will be played on Monday ....right after Podcast. 1 on Fri, 2 on Mon. so I guess we can do 2,...3 on Wed, 4 on Fri and 5 on Mon for the next week. Does that sound right?
Lets get a running total going.... the 3 of us and maybe a guest each week picking the games. Pick and see who has the best total at the end of the season.

I'll pick mine too night and try to post it :)

Bryson's Winners are in bold

UGA vs FL (Georgia)

ALA vs LSU (LSU)

OK vs IOWA (Okl)

Syracuse vs Miami (Syr)

Marshall vs USC (USC)

Washington vs Stanford (Wash)

Navy vs Arizona (Arizona)

very lol

Here are Game 2 for the season JOHN WAYNE's Loser   

Texas vs Georgia
Longhorns Drag UGA by the DOGBALLS to Austin for a Planned Rodeo Bull Rider Stomping.
How many Dogs will fit on a Longhorn?   Only the Healthy Ones!  And the Dawgs have few.
One minor injury, Healthy Texas Team. The GA Pups at Pound are Licking ***** and Wounds.
A BIGGER THAN TEXAS win last week means a LONE STAR earned for the BURNT ORANGE.
John Wayne's Loser      GEORGIA

UCLA vs ARMY
Coach CBJII  Surfs to his Home Beach in So Cal after Mashing those Ducks Flat!!!!
62 Bruin Pts was a Heisman Watch run for an Experienced QB Beall's 6 TDs and 132 rating.
Bryno's Jr Weest Poiing JR Gens say "No Charge up the Hudson River" with a 46-0 Victory.
The Black Knights Cut off Heads without Losing a Man.. a shutout, 1st Battle on WP Field.
John Wayne's Loser ....in an epic one to watch......       UCLA

Clemson vs LSU
Coach bgedgurly takes his Krew of Transgender Bourbon St Boys into Clemson's Death Valley.
His own Death Valley was Sprayed last week with Crimson Red in his First Mardi Gras Parade.
Now the TIGER vs TIGER Cage Match will prove to be a Battle Royale, no CLAWS BARRED !
The COUNTLESS ORANGE PAWS displayed will Make the Bayou Kittens Scaredy Cats.
John Wayne's Loser                                  LSU

ND vs Navy
The youthful Laddies from the Bergs of Big Bend Bounce home after a big win.
The Luck of the Irish and Irish Whiskey kept Wimbush alive his after Several Severe Sacks.
Midshipmen just missed out on a Victory in Battle but had their Battleship Sunk.
A Transgender Lesbian, a Drunk Sailor and Wimbush and his Leprechauns walk in a Gay Bar,
The Irish Lad's 39 Frosh are too young to know and the Sailors were Trained on this,
John Wayne's Loser                          NAVY

Mississippi vs Arkansas
Ole Miss Rebels welcome their SEC Rivals into Oxford by Waving the Stars and Bars.
Both Teams suffered losses, so this is going to be an Tusk Gashing, Rebel Charging Fight.
The Razorbacks will Hog Grunt and the Rebels wish to Picnic with Pork BBQ.
Tailgate Parties are Legendary in the Annals of Southern Hospitality.
John Wayne's Loser                      ARKANSAS

Tennessee vs Fla St
The Vols are asking the Seminole Indians to visit for a Hunting Trip... Scalps or Raccoon Caps?
Ole Smokey wakes up on Saturday Game Day, the Big Neyland Stadium is the Shootout.
Spears will Wave and Tomahawk Chops will be few as The Rocky Tops Drown out the Chants.
Orange is everywhere there,,, Nothing sucks like a Big Orange.  In This Game...Feathers Fly
John Wayne's Loser                        FLA ST


Miami vs Syracuse
The Orangemen will crawl like a Sloth onto Sandy Beaches and the Tourist State.
Otto the mascot will take Syracuse into the Eye of the Storm with these Yankee Visitors.
NY has never seen Sunny Beaches like these before. Â Coach Super wears ORANGE for luck.
The Hurricanes will Pack a Wallop for the visitors and will try to Blow them Down to Lil Cuba.
John Wayne's Loser...                  SYRACUSE